Try Not to Poop on Your Child
None of us is a perfect parent. I, personally, have been known to steal more than a few bites of my darling daughter’s mac and cheese when I feed her dinner (the horror!). We all have a few stories our exes could tell about us, if they were properly motivated. And there is no greater motivation to disparage THE OTHER PARENT than a divorce.
So don’t give him / her / it any added ammunition. Don’t date her sister. Don’t drive his Mustang off a cliff. Etc.
Don’t give him ammo like one mom did – and yes I swear to you that this really did happen. Wife in a contested divorce action got black-out drunk one night and had to go to the bathroom. So, she tiptoed into her fourteen-year-old son’s bedroom, pulled down her pajama bottoms, and … went to the bathroom. On her son’s bed. On her son.
After a discussion with the police and a few loads of laundry the 14 year old now lives with his father.
So here is some high-level legal advice: when in the midst of a divorce don’t poop on your son. The judges frown upon it.
The saddest and sickest part? Pooping mom found a lawyer to argue that the child should stay with her! Not great.