Try Not to Poop on Your Child

None of us is a perfect parent.  I, personally, have been known to steal more than a few bites of my darling daughter’s mac and cheese when I feed her dinner (the horror!).  We all have a few stories our exes could tell about us, if they were properly motivated.  And there is no greater motivation to disparage THE OTHER PARENT than a divorce.

So don’t give him / her / it any added ammunition.  Don’t date her sister.  Don’t drive his Mustang off a cliff.  Etc.

Don’t give him ammo like one mom did – and yes I swear to you that this really did happen.  Wife in a contested divorce action got black-out drunk one night and had to go to the bathroom.  So, she tiptoed into her fourteen-year-old son’s bedroom, pulled down her pajama bottoms, and … went to the bathroom.  On her son’s bed.  On her son.

After a discussion with the police and a few loads of laundry the 14 year old now lives with his father.

So here is some high-level legal advice: when in the midst of a divorce don’t poop on your son.  The judges frown upon it.

The saddest and sickest part?  Pooping mom found a lawyer to argue that the child should stay with her! Not great.