My Husband Hired a Rambo Litigator!

There is a certain kind of lawyer that is hated by all.  The judges.  The clerks.  The sheriffs.  The other lawyers.  The parties.  The dust mites in the carpets.  We call these lawyers a lot of four letter words which are unfit for blogging, but the nickname they all go by is “Rambo Litigators”.  A Rambo Litigator has no touch, no diplomacy, and no emotional IQ.  A Rambo Litigator feels as though they can “win” any case with any fact pattern simply by yelling the most and the loudest.  Represent a Father who is charged with first degree sexual abuse?  A Rambo Litigator will put Mother on the stand and (try to) browbeat them with several afternoons of interrogation to no end and no purpose.  They are the bane of our existence, and yours.

&$(*%!!.

Here is what this generally looks like:  Wife in a divorce action hires an attorney.  Just a reasonable, skillful, diligent attorney.  There are many in your jurisdiction.  Husband, perhaps unknowingly, hires Rambo Litigator.  Rambo Litigator thinks that by SCREAMING ABOUT EVERYTHING – and I mean everything – they can make a more convincing case.  They can wear down the opposition.  Or the judge.  By making a mountain out of every single molehill they will ultimately prevail in the war of attrition that is every divorce proceeding and thus their client will have a slightly better outcome.  Say Husband gets ten days with the timeshare instead of eight and you’re getting the idea.  For these two days of timeshare the Rambo Litigator will give everyone an ulcer  –  if you let them.

Have you ever gone to a restaurant and overheard a patron berating a waitress over her salad?  That’s these guys.

This presents two immediate problems:

Problem #1: The judges can’t stand Rambo Litigation.  And an unreasonable attorney quickly wastes the good faith and patience of the reasonable opposing counsel.  Meaning the entire case takes longer than it should – it costs more in legal fees for both parties.

Problem #2: From Wife’s perspective, idiot Husband who hired idiot attorney IS WINNING BECAUSE HIS ATTORNEY IS MAKING MORE NOISE.  Now, of course, nothing could be further from the truth, but try convincing Wife of that.

If I were a more cynical person I would even say that Rambo Litigators conduct themselves the way they do because they know the more unreasonable they can be the longer the case will last and the more money they can charge.  But I’m not cynical.

Please, do us all a favor and ask around before you hire an attorney and make sure you don’t hire one.  Together we can put Rambo Litigation out of business.