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Should We Separate, Should We Divorce, or Should We Buy a Turtle

Understanding Divorce vs. Legal Separation in Rhode Island

When married couples start asking themselves whether they should separate or divorce, it’s usually a sign that things have already gone sideways. Sometimes the question is practical. Sometimes it’s emotional. And sometimes it’s framed the only way people can tolerate it: with humor.

In Rhode Island, your realistic legal options are limited. Annulment is rare, murder is frowned upon, and impulse pet purchases are generally not an effective conflict-resolution strategy. That leaves legal separation and divorce — two paths that sound similar but operate very differently under Rhode Island family law.

Before making a decision that affects your finances, children, housing, and long-term stability, it’s worth understanding what each option actually means.

What Is Legal Separation in Rhode Island?

Legal separation is a court-recognized process where spouses remain legally married but live separately and apart under a formal court order.

That order typically addresses:

In other words, everything that happens in a divorce… still happens in a legal separation. The primary difference is that you are still married.

➡️ Related reading: Understanding Parenting Time in Rhode Island
➡️ Related reading: Child Support in Rhode Island: How It’s Determined

You’re Still Married — Yes, Really

One of the most misunderstood aspects of legal separation is that it does not end the marriage.

That means:

  • You cannot remarry

  • You are still legally spouses

  • Certain benefits and obligations continue

If closure matters to you — and for many people it does — legal separation may feel like stopping a movie halfway through and never pressing play again. The marriage technically continues, even if the relationship does not.

This matters emotionally, socially, and legally.

The Social and Emotional Reality of Separation

Legal separation can also create awkward practical realities. Dating while separated often requires explanations most people would rather avoid. Explaining that you are “married but separated” is not a legal problem — but it can be a personal one.

For some people, that ambiguity is manageable. For others, it becomes a constant reminder that they are stuck between chapters rather than starting a new one.

Why Legal Separation Can Be More Complicated Than Divorce

One of the biggest downsides of legal separation is that it often means doing everything twice.

If you separate and later decide to divorce:

  1. You file a separation case

  2. You negotiate or litigate custody, support, and finances

  3. You receive court orders

  4. You later return to court

  5. You file again

  6. You go through the divorce process

That’s twice the paperwork, twice the emotional toll, and often twice the legal expense.

Divorce is difficult. Separation followed by divorce can be harder.

So Why Would Anyone Choose Legal Separation?

Despite the drawbacks, legal separation does have legitimate advantages in certain situations.

1. Health Insurance and Medical Needs

One of the most common reasons couples choose separation over divorce is health insurance.

Many spouses rely on employer-provided insurance that would disappear upon divorce. If one spouse is facing serious medical treatment, losing coverage can be financially devastating.

In those situations, couples sometimes separate — even knowing reconciliation is unlikely — simply to preserve insurance coverage.

It may not be romantic, but it can be practical.

2. Religious, Cultural, or Personal Beliefs

Some people are deeply uncomfortable with divorce due to:

  • Religious beliefs

  • Cultural expectations

  • Personal values

  • Family pressure

Legal separation can provide structure and protection without crossing a line that feels unacceptable to one or both spouses.

3. Financial “Trial Run” Before Divorce

For long-term marriages — particularly gray divorces — some couples want to know whether both parties can survive financially after divorce.

Legal separation allows spouses to:

  • Divide households

  • Separate finances

  • Pay their own bills

  • Test budgets independently

Think of it as a financial simulation before making a permanent decision.

4. Rhode Island Residency Requirements

Rhode Island has specific residency rules:

  • You must live in Rhode Island for one full year before filing for divorce, 1 R.I. Gen. Laws § 15-5-12

  • You only need to live in Rhode Island one day before filing for legal separation

If residency is an issue, separation can allow couples to resolve custody, support, and financial matters while waiting to meet divorce residency requirements.

What About Divorce?

Divorce permanently dissolves the marriage. Once final:

  • You are no longer spouses

  • You can remarry

  • Financial and legal ties are formally severed

For many people, divorce provides clarity, closure, and finality that separation cannot.

Divorce is not easy — but for couples who know the marriage is over, it is often the most efficient and emotionally honest option.

➡️ Related reading: How to File for Divorce in Rhode Island
➡️ Related reading: Temporary Allowances in Rhode Island Divorce Cases

Every Case Is Different

There is no universal right answer. What makes sense for one couple may be a mistake for another.

Factors that matter include:

  • Children and parenting arrangements

  • Health and insurance needs

  • Finances and debt

  • Emotional readiness

  • Religious or cultural values

  • Residency and jurisdiction

Because every jurisdiction handles separation and divorce differently, it’s essential to speak with a family law attorney in your state before making decisions that are difficult — or impossible — to undo.

If you’re asking whether you should separate, divorce, or buy a turtle, chances are you’re searching for stability in a moment of uncertainty.

The law can’t fix relationships — but it can provide structure, protection, and predictability while you decide what comes next.

And for the record: turtles live a very long time. Choose carefully.

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