Ain’t Hardly No Law Gainst it
An associate of mine was speaking with a father / client of ours one time, and passed on a concern of the Mother’s that he (father) was smoking in the car with the kiddo. Father was confused. He pointed out…
OMG Why Does That Attorney Hate Me?!?!?!
Family Law attorneys are known for our dead eyes and desiccated souls. Any Family Law attorney with more than five years experience is only worth her weight in apathy. Truly, we are just well-dressed mall walkers, always moving quickly from…
What am I Going to Pay (or Get Paid) in Child Support?
The one thing that every Family Law attorney knows for certain is that child support is forever either way too much (for the paying party; let’s say, Dad) or not nearly enough (for the party getting paid; let’s say, Mom).…
I Want to Move to Greenland Because Greenland is Pretty
The number one rule for clients / parties to a Family Law case is to not have the judge hate you. This is the single number one thing. This is more important than paying your lawyer or wearing pants to…
Don’t You Dare Tell Me What Fido is Worth!
Dogs. We love them in the best, most flawed way that humans can, and they love us unconditionally. Always. Whether you rescue your Fido from a shelter, take in puppy Fido from a litter your cousin had, or purchase a…
Childish.
What follows is the worst fu*(&ng phone call from child custody clients (and that is really, really saying something): "My four-year-old told me she would rather live with me. So we don't need to go to court anymore and I win,…
“I feel badgered!”: the problem with trials
The one lament I hear more than any other in Family Court is some version of, "I want a trial!". To which I respond something snarky like, "No, you really don't", or, "Everyone wants a trial until they get a…
“Visitation Isn’t Free”
(by guest blogger) I observed something troubling in family court today. A mom and her attorney had just come out of a mediation. They were loudly discussing what had just happened with the mediator, ex-husband, and opposing counsel. (A note…
Oh, you have text messages??
Painful truth – you overvalue the text messages, voicemails, secret recordings and videos you have taken of your significant other showing him or her high / drunk / dangling from a bridge or involved in illegal activity. Meaning – your…
I don’t like my attorney or my judge or my husband and I want new ones!!!
I don’t know how attorneys get on with their clients in bankruptcy, criminal, or real estate closings, but in family court chances are you are not going to be lifelong besties with your attorney. And it’s not our fault. It’s…