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The Race to the Bottom (of Hell)

I have entered into a child custody case.  Or at least, it is a child custody case at heart.  Unfortunately for the parties, the judge, and most importantly me, it has begun as a restraining order.  The custody merits will…

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Passenger Side Punching Bag

Family law attorneys are professional bad guys (and gals). What with the black cowboy hat and patchy sideburns we gum a broken cigar between our lips and let our three-day-stubble do the talking. If you meet your family law attorney…

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The Parent Signal

Today's parents already wear many hats: nurse, teacher, spiritual guide, saucier, confidante, cheerleader, janitor, exorcist, on and on. Modern parents navigating a bitter divorce find themselves in an impossible situation.  Bestselling books and Ph.D. theses have been written about the…

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Communicate!

Months into a contested custody case I have (I represent the mother), opposing party (father) racked up his second DUI by wrapping his car around a utility pole.  Mercifully, the child was not in the car at the time.  But…

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Finally, the End

The only truly beautiful, breathtaking part of a Family Law case is the very end. "A good case is a closed case," is the mantra in the courthouse hallways and closets where divorce attorneys hide and nap.  And that is really…

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Ode to Coconuts

The RI Family Court used to have a judge (now retired) who would quickly lose his temper with parties or lawyers in a divorce action who were fighting needlessly when no minor children were involved. “You two can’t divide the…

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Cat Farts & Patchouli

The attorney-client relationship in the RI family court is … strange.  You need the exact right kind of lawyer for you.  Every attorney is a unique dandelion, but here are a few common types to look out for.  Choose which…

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One Free Divorce!

In "honor" of this gimmicky holiday Valentine's Day I have a gimmick of my own.   I am giving away one free divorce to any nice / normal person who asks.  I will handle the case myself.  No catches no tricks.…

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